Humor Quotes | Beyond Motive

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Humor Quotes

"A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he is talking about."

"A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he is talking about."

Miguel de Unamuno, Spanish Educator

Humor, Arguments, Fool, Talking

52

"I had a terrible vision: I saw an encyclopedia walk up to a polymath and open him up."

"I had a terrible vision: I saw an encyclopedia walk up to a polymath and open him up."

Karl Kraus, Austrian Writer

39

"Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue."

"Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue."

Virginia Woolf, British Author

Humor, First, Gifts, Tongue

35

"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."

"Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken."

Jonathan Swift, Irish Writer

Humor, Promises

34

"I don't think humor is forced upon my universe; it's a part of it."

"I don't think humor is forced upon my universe; it's a part of it."

Manuel Puig, Argentinian Author

Humor, Universe

32

"My stories are very somber, so I think I need the comic ingredient. Besides, life has so much humor."

"My stories are very somber, so I think I need the comic ingredient. Besides, life has so much humor."

Manuel Puig, Argentinian Author

31

"Absurdity is what I like most in life, and there's humor in struggling in ignorance. If you saw a man repeatedly running into a wall until he was a bloody pulp, after a while it would make you laugh because it becomes absurd."

"Absurdity is what I like most in life, and there's humor in struggling in ignorance. If you saw a man repeatedly running into a wall until he was a bloody pulp, after a while it would make you laugh because it becomes absurd."

David Lynch, American Director

Humor, Life, Absurdity, Ignorance

28

"I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today."

"I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today."

Gordon Strachan, Scottish Athlete

27

"A camel is a horse designed by committee."

"A camel is a horse designed by committee."

Alec Issigonis, Turkish Designer

Humor, Committee

27

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Health, Books, May, Reading

26

"Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian."

"Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian."

Herman Melville, American Novelist

Humor, Christian, Sleep

25

"You can pretend to be serious; but you can't pretend to be witty."

"You can pretend to be serious; but you can't pretend to be witty."

Sacha Guitry, French Director

23

"You know, the Lord said to Adam: 'Come forth, come forth,' and he came fifth and won the fucking apple, do you know what I mean. If you can walk away, walk away but it's hard to do."

"You know, the Lord said to Adam: 'Come forth, come forth,' and he came fifth and won the fucking apple, do you know what I mean. If you can walk away, walk away but it's hard to do."

Stephen Richards, British Author

Humor, Faith, Parable, Meaning

23

"Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully."

"Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully."

Max Eastman, American Author

Humor, Instinct, Pain

22

"My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world."

"My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world."

Muhammad Ali, American Athlete

Humor, Truth, World

20

"Have a sense of humor about life - you will need it. And be courteous."

"Have a sense of humor about life - you will need it. And be courteous."

Peter Jennings, Canadian Journalist

Humor, Life, Sense, Will

19

"Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put."

"Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, Ending, Will

18

"Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain."

"Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain."

Edward de Bono, English Psychologist

17

"Wit is educated insolence."

"Wit is educated insolence."

Aristotle, Greek Philosopher

17

"As far as I'm concerned, "whom" is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler."

"As far as I'm concerned, "whom" is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler."

Calvin Trillin, American Journalist

Humor, Sound, Word

16

"The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

"The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

Mark Twain, American Author

16

"What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself."

"What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself."

Abraham Lincoln, American Politician

Humor, Publicity, President

16

"A succubus on the set. Strike that, the health-conscious kid sister made it two succubuses. Succubusees? Succubi? Stupid Latin correspondence course."

"A succubus on the set. Strike that, the health-conscious kid sister made it two succubuses. Succubusees? Succubi? Stupid Latin correspondence course."

Jim Butcher, American Author

Humor, Language, Fiction, Creativity

16

"When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer "Present" or "Not guilty.""

"When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer "Present" or "Not guilty.""

Theodore Roosevelt, American President

Humor, Senate, Senators

16

"The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk."

"The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk."

Ogden Nash, American Poet

15

"I also hate those holidays that fall on a Monday where you don't get mail, those fake holidays like Columbus Day. What did Christopher Columbus do, discover America? If he hadn't, somebody else would have and we'd still be here. Big deal."

"I also hate those holidays that fall on a Monday where you don't get mail, those fake holidays like Columbus Day. What did Christopher Columbus do, discover America? If he hadn't, somebody else would have and we'd still be here. Big deal."

John Waters, American Director

Humor, America, Columbus, Day, Hate

15

"Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives."

"Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives."

Robert Collier, American Publisher

Humor, Thought, Difference, Jokes

15

"I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World."

"I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World."

George Best, Irish Athlete

Humor, Canada, United, World

15

"Wit is the only wall between us and the dark."

"Wit is the only wall between us and the dark."

Mark Van Doren, American Poet

15

"I don't think my sense of humor has changed at all; I was born with this, for better or for worse."

"I don't think my sense of humor has changed at all; I was born with this, for better or for worse."

Ivan Reitman, Canadian Actor

15

"Injections are the best thing ever invented for feeding doctors."

"Injections are the best thing ever invented for feeding doctors."

Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Colombian Novelist

14

"The only time to buy these is on a day with no "y" in it."

"The only time to buy these is on a day with no "y" in it."

Warren Buffett, American Businessman

Humor, Time, Day

14

"If you are not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there."

"If you are not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there."

Martin Luther, German Leader

Humor, Heaven, Want

14

"Dad named his first ulcer after me."

"Dad named his first ulcer after me."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Family, Dad, Stress

13

"Love is grand divorce is a hundred grand."

"Love is grand divorce is a hundred grand."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Love, Divorce, Money, Marriage

13

"The people of Seattle deny they get much rain while the rest of the country thinks of it as America's bladder."

"The people of Seattle deny they get much rain while the rest of the country thinks of it as America's bladder."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Rain, Country, Perception

13

"Ding dong bell Pussy's in the well Who put her in? Little Tommy Green. Who pulled her out? Little Johnny Stout."

"Ding dong bell Pussy's in the well Who put her in? Little Tommy Green. Who pulled her out? Little Johnny Stout."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Children, Play, Story

13

"The great thing about university is that they incline you to get up and do it, from the Classics to modern plays, to the humor that Monty Pythons made popular."

"The great thing about university is that they incline you to get up and do it, from the Classics to modern plays, to the humor that Monty Pythons made popular."

Michael York, British Actor

Humor, Popular, University

13

"Humor can help you cope with the unbearable so that you can stay on the bright side of things until the bright side actually comes along."

"Humor can help you cope with the unbearable so that you can stay on the bright side of things until the bright side actually comes along."

Allen Klein, American Businessman

13

"Avoid all needle drugs, the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon."

"Avoid all needle drugs, the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon."

Abbie Hoffman, American Activist

Humor, Drugs, Nixon, Worth

13

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."

Aristotle Onassis, Greek Businessman

Humor, Money, Women, Meaning, World

12

"I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."

"I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, Cats, Dogs

12

"A little perspective, like a little humor, goes a long way."

"A little perspective, like a little humor, goes a long way."

Allen Klein, American Businessman

Humor, Perspective

12

"Modern kitchen - where the pot calls the kettle chartreuse."

"Modern kitchen - where the pot calls the kettle chartreuse."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Kitchen, Home

11

"A bred-in-the-bone Boston lady when asked why she never travelled said 'Why should I? I'm already there'."

"A bred-in-the-bone Boston lady when asked why she never travelled said 'Why should I? I'm already there'."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Travel, Life, Home

11

"A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself."

"A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself."

Clifton Fadiman, American Writer

Humor, Ability, Sense

11

"As a person, he was wonderful. He really was a great person. He was full of life. He had a great sense of humor. Very talented, of course, but very caring to his parents. There was a very endearing quality about Elvis."

"As a person, he was wonderful. He really was a great person. He was full of life. He had a great sense of humor. Very talented, of course, but very caring to his parents. There was a very endearing quality about Elvis."

Priscilla Presley, American Actress

Humor, Life, Quality, Caring

11

"This has been a most wonderful evening. Gertrude has said things tonight it will take her 10 years to understand."

"This has been a most wonderful evening. Gertrude has said things tonight it will take her 10 years to understand."

Alice B. Toklas, American Editor

Humor, Evening, Will, Years

11

"Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind."

"Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

11

"Humor is not a mood but a way of looking at the world. So if it is correct to say that humor was stamped out in Nazi Germany, that does not mean that people were not in good spirits, or anything of that sort, but something much deeper and more important."

"Humor is not a mood but a way of looking at the world. So if it is correct to say that humor was stamped out in Nazi Germany, that does not mean that people were not in good spirits, or anything of that sort, but something much deeper and more important."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

Humor, People, Germany, Spirits

11

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