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Absurdity Quotes
"It doesn't matter if Prince Charles falls off his horseor that the hummingbird is so seldomseenor that we are too senseless to goinsane.coffee. give us more of that NOTHINGcoffee."
60
"The concept of absurdity is something I'm attracted to."
52
"It's okay to be absurd, ridiculous, and downright irrational at times; silliness is sweet syrup that helps us swallow the bitter pills of life."
49
"Only by living absurdly is it possible to break out of this infinite absurdity."
48
"Yes, and imagine a world where there were no hypothetical situations."
45
"Modern man must descend the spiral of his own absurdity to the lowest point; only then can he look beyond it. It is obviously impossible to get around it, jump over it, or simply avoid it."
45
"He's got a can up there,' Richard said."
43
"To be sure, this is what generally happens when one eats cake; but Alice had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way."
42
"We must content ourselves with the mystery, the absurdity, the contradictions, the hostility, but also the generosity that our environment offers us. It's not much, but it's always better than the deadly, defeatist certainty of the paranoid."
41
"Felix believed that the answer to every problem involved penguins; but it wasn't fair to birds, and I was getting tired of teleporting them back home. Somewhere in Antarctica, a whole flock of Magellanic penguins were undergoing psychotherapy."
40
"Destruction was calm, almost content- would he next break out in song like a Disney princess?"
40
"I turned to my own bunk and examined it with a kind of appalled fascination. If the mattress stains were anything to go by, a previous user had not so much suffered from incontinence as rejoiced in it. He had evidently included the pillow in his celebrations."
39
"In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd."
37
"He had a bleeding cut on his leg and he smelled like shit.Her nose wrinkled. "Step in something?" she asked innocently. mind was being hit by a cab, then landing on the lap of a naked man. With an erection, Anya. He had an erection."
37
"In some warped way, having an embalmed body with us made perfect sense."
35
"He was dead. However, his nose throbbed painfully, which he thought odd in the circumstances."
35
"I have a special pair of poop shoes under my desk. Whenever I need to drop a deuce, I slip them on and scurry to the restroom, and no one ever knows it's me. Like, if I'm wearing Louboutins that day, and my producer sees Earth shoes in the stall....well, you get the idea. It was truly a lightbulb moment when that came to me."
35
"Even choosing the perfect dinner wine loses its earth-shattering importance if your guests happen to be cannibals, and you, the unsuspecting entree."
33
"Susan's gotta poker, you know," it said, as if anxious to be helpful. WELL, WELL. INDEED. MY GOODNESS ME. week she picked up a bogey by its nose."Death tried to imagine this. He felt sure he'd heard the sentence wrong, but it didn't sound a whole lot better however he rearranged the words."
33
"Perhaps after all she put me in her rectum. A matter of complete indifference to me, I needn't tell you. But is it true love, in the rectum? That's what bothers me sometimes. Have I never known true love, after all?"
32
"Sharks to not eat Chinese people because they get hungry thirty minutes later."
32
"Sometimes I have believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
31
"All killer whales are named Kevin. You knew that, right?"
30
"I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it."
29
"Her latest client is Professor Desmond Curnin, a university professor who teaches library sciences to large groups of students. He's quick to pay on-time, quick to never fall behind. He's a brown-haired man with an unkempt beard and thick-framed hipster glasses. He slides a leather briefcase stuffed with dollar bills into the open window of Geraldine's car. "Your fly's unzipped, Geraldine points out, disgusted. "Who gave you a license to sell hot dogs, buddy?"
28
"You know how spooky Ashwini is. She called an hour ago to tell me she has a secret stash of handheld grenade launchers she thought I might want to know about. My response was, 'What the fuck?"
28
"What's with the serum?"I don't know, but it sounds ominous. We better put a telepathic direction finder on Benway. The man's not to be trusted. Might do almost anything...Turn a massacre into a sex orgy..."Or a joke."Precisely. Arty type...No principles..."
27
"I flow like a butter in the nailed pan I stole. I also kept the nail, to polish and use as a means of teleportation."
26
"It was an odd situation. For a century and a half, men got rid of their own hair, which was perfectly comfortable, and instead covered their heads with something foreign and uncomfortable. Very often it was actually their own hair made into a wig. People who couldn't afford wigs tried to make their hair look like a wig."
24
"What is existence for but to be laughed at if men in their twenties have already attained the utmost?"
24
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