"My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world."

Humor, Truth, World

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"My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world."

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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"

Anthony Liccione, American Author

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Michael Bassey Johnson, Nigerian Philosopher

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"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

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"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."

Richelle Mead, American Author

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"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

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"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

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"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."

Agatha Christie, English Writer

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"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

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"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"

Chuck Palahniuk, American Novelist

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"I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark."

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"Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even."

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"To be able to give away riches is mandatory if you wish to possess them. This is the only way that you will be truly rich."

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"If they can make penicillin out of mouldy bread, they can sure make something out of you."

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"I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest."

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"What keeps me going is goals."

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"There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people."

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"A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing."

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