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"The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this: If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, that would be a calamity."
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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."

"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."

"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
Explore more quotes by Benjamin Disraeli

"The governments of the present day have to deal not merely with other governments, with emperors, kings and ministers, but also with the secret societies which have everywhere their unscrupulous agents, and can at the last moment upset all the governments' plans."

"The delight of opening a new pursuit or a new course of reading imparts the vivacity and novelty of youth even to old age."

"I am a Conservative to preserve all that is good in our constitution, a Radical to remove all that is bad. I seek to preserve property and to respect order, and I equally decry the appeal to the passions of the many or the prejudices of the few."

"Anybody amuses me for once. A new acquaintance is like a new book. I prefer it even if bad to a classic."

"The author who speaks about his own books is almost as bad as a mother who talks about her own children."
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