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"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."
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Personal Development
"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
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Personal Development
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
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Personal Development
"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."
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Personal Development
"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."
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Personal Development
"England has forty-two religions and only two sauces."
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Personal Development
"God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh."
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Personal Development
"And then Mum spoons the coffee a little as if she's having fantasies of flinging it in Britt-Marie's face. But in a controlled way."
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Personal Development
"Stupidity is brief and guileless, while wit equivocates and hides. Wit is a scoundrel, while stupidity is honest and sincere."
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Personal Development
"I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea."
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Personal Development
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"It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor."
Humor
"A joke is not a thing but a process, a trick you play on the listener's mind. You start him off toward a plausible goal, and then by a sudden twist you land him nowhere at all or just where he didn't expect to go."
Goal
"Robert Benchley has a style that is weak and lies down frequently to rest."
Lie
"A poet in history is divine, but a poet in the next room is a joke."
History
"A liberal mind is a mind that is able to imagine itself believing anything."
Liberal
"It is art that makes life, makes interest, makes importance and I know of no substitute whatever for the force and beauty of its process."
Life
"Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails."
Dogs
"Emotion is the surest arbiter of a poetic choice, and it is the priest of all supreme unions in the mind."
Choice
"Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully."
Humor
"I don't know why it is we are in such a hurry to get up when we fall down. You might think we would lie there and rest for a while."
Lie
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