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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"A poet in history is divine, but a poet in the next room is a joke."
History
"It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor."
Humor
"Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully."
Humor
"Emotion is the surest arbiter of a poetic choice, and it is the priest of all supreme unions in the mind."
Choice
"A smile is the universal welcome."
Smile
"I don't know why it is we are in such a hurry to get up when we fall down. You might think we would lie there and rest for a while."
Lie
"Laughter is, after speech, the chief thing that holds society together."
Society
"It is art that makes life, makes interest, makes importance and I know of no substitute whatever for the force and beauty of its process."
Life
"Classic art was the art of necessity: modern romantic art bears the stamp of caprice and chance."
Art
"Robert Benchley has a style that is weak and lies down frequently to rest."
Lie
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