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"Kant thought things, not because they were true, but because he was Kant."
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"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."

"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."

"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
Explore more quotes by W. Somerset Maugham


"What has influenced my life more than any other single thing has been my stammer. Had I not stammered I would probably... have gone to Cambridge as my brothers did, perhaps have become a don and every now and then published a dreary book about French literature."


"If it is necessary sometimes to lie to others, it is always despicable to lie to oneself."


"What makes old age hard to bear is not the failing of one's faculties, mental and physical, but the burden of one's memories."


"And the poor lady, so small in her black satin, shrivelled up and sallow, with her funny corkscrew curls, took the little boy on her lap and put her arms around him and wept as though her heart would break. But her tears were partly tears of happiness, for she felt that the strangeness between them was gone. She loved him now with a new love because he had made her suffer."


"We have long passed the Victorian Era when asterisks were followed after a certain interval by a baby."
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