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W. Somerset Maugham

"Kant thought things, not because they were true, but because he was Kant."

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"Kant thought things, not because they were true, but because he was Kant."

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Donna Grant

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."

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Donna Grant

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."

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Donna Grant

"Laughter is carbonated holiness."

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Donna Grant

"Alas poor Yorick! I knew him Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest of most excellent fancy."

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Donna Grant

"The Fool held his breath. On long nights on the hard flagstones he had dreamed of women like her. Although, if he really thought about it, not much like her; they were better endowed around the chest, their noses weren't so red and pointed, and their hair tended to flow more. But the Fool's libido was bright enough to tell the difference between the impossible and the conceivably attainable, and hurriedly cut in some filter circuits."

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Donna Grant

"D'yer see it? This finger, laddie, could send ye to meet yer Maker!Sgt. Deisenburger stared at the black and purple nail a few inches from his face. As an offensive weapon it rated quite highly, especially if it was ever used in the preparation of food."

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Donna Grant

"Showing off is more ridiculous in instances where the thing that is being shown off was bought on credit."

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Donna Grant

"It is dull, Son of Adam, to drink without eating," said the Queen presently. "What would you like best to eat?""Turkish Delight, please, your Majesty," said Edmund."

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Donna Grant

"Hey, guard! Ian hollered out loud. "Do you think we could get a bathroom break? The guard seemed to snicker as he pointed to the grass outside the cell. Eena smirked at how dead-on her thoughts had been after all. "Come on, Ian complained. "She can't do that, she's a girl. The soldier smiled wryly, a shrug communicating his indifference. Eena laughed in her mind. (I don't know what you think's so funny. You're the one who's gotta pee.) Oddly enough, that fact just made her laugh even more."

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Donna Grant

"I HAVE MADE THIS FOR YOU. She reached out and took a damp square of cardboard. Water dripped off the bottom. Somewhere in the middle, a few brown feathers seemed to have been glued on. 'Thank you. Er ... what is it?'ALBERT SAID THERE OUGHT TO BE SNOW ON IT, BUT IT APPEARS TO HAVE MELTED, said Death. IT IS, OF COURSE, A HOGSWATCH CARD.'Oh ...' THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A ROBIN ON IT AS WELL, BUT I HAD CONSIDERABLE DIFFICULTY IN GETTING IT TO STAY ON. 'Ah...'IT WAS NOT AT ALL COOPERATIVE.'Really ...?'IT DID NOT SEEM TO GET INTO THE HOGSWATCH SPIRIT AT ALL."

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W. Somerset Maugham
"It is not true that suffering ennobles the character; happiness does that sometimes, but suffering for the most part, makes men petty and vindictive."

Happiness

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W. Somerset Maugham
"A Unitarian very earnestly disbelieves what everyone else believes."

Religion

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W. Somerset Maugham
"She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit."

Pretty

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W. Somerset Maugham
"An unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones."

Habit

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W. Somerset Maugham
"Himself an ugly man, insignificantof appearance, he prized very highly comeliness in others."

Appearance

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W. Somerset Maugham
"It looked as though you did not act in a certain way because you thought in a certain way, but rather you thought in a certain way because you were made in a certain way. Truth had nothing to do with it."

Nature

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W. Somerset Maugham
"I'll give you my opinion of the human race in a nutshell... their heart's in the right place, but their head is a thoroughly inefficient organ."

Heart

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W. Somerset Maugham
"You know, there are two good things in life, freedom of thought and freedom of action."

Freedom

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W. Somerset Maugham
"It is well known that Beauty does not look with a good grace on the timid advances of Humour."

Beauty

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W. Somerset Maugham
"I could have forgiven it if he'd fallen desperately in love with someone and gone off with her. I should have thought that natural. I shouldn't really have blamed him. I should have thought he was led away. Men are so weak, and women are so unscrupulous."

Forgiveness

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