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"How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin."
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"He smiles, and he's made of trouble. We should have dropped him in the Thames in a bag of stones. We should have left him out for the fairies."
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Personal Development
"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."
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Personal Development
"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
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Personal Development
"The fun we'll have tonight is called figging."
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Personal Development
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
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Personal Development
"I liked the humor of it, I've always enjoyed a sense of humor in God and in religion and in spirituality."
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Personal Development
"I just meant maybe you could set here and drink one of em with me.He squinted at her. You ever notice how women have trouble takin no for a answer? I think itstarts about age three.What about men?They get used to it. They better."
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Personal Development
"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."
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Personal Development
"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."
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Personal Development
"There's a hysterical, tired sense of humor that comes after working 14 hours a day, six days a week. I like those things because they take the pressure off the constant stress."
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"Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives."
Freedom
"Above all, we must realize that no arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. It is a weapon our adversaries in today's world do not have."
Freedom
"Entrepreneurs and their small enterprises are responsible for almost all the economic growth in the United States."
Leadership
"We should measure welfare's success by how many people leave welfare, not by how many are added."
Business
"The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination."
Business
"Inflation is as violent as a mugger, as frightening as an armed robber and as deadly as a hit man."
Business
"I've often said there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse."
Humor
"Some people wonder all their lives if they've made a difference. The Marines don't have that problem."
Leadership
"Violence has been Nicaragua's most important export to the world."
War
"To sit back hoping that someday, some way, someone will make things right is to go on feeding the crocodile, hoping he will eat you last - but eat you he will."
Courage
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