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"Have a sense of humor about life - you will need it. And be courteous."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"Comedy strikes here... just to reduce pressure and depression."
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Personal Development
"They're both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit."
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Personal Development
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
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"Do we elect a man because of what he stands for, because of where he stands on the issues, because how he makes the nation feel?"
Man
"Have a sense of humor about life - you will need it. And be courteous."
Humor
"George W. had a plan. He arranged to join the Air National Guard in Texas, which meant he would not be sent to Vietnam."
Military service
"I think it's impossible for any of us not to find television, and the political process at its best on television, compelling."
Television
"I am sensitive to the value of faith and religion and spirituality in people's lives because I'm a journalist."
Faith
"I think I am very mainstream - I'm committed to good works in my life."
Life
"A couple of weeks is a long time in American politics."
Politics
"Some people continue to pretend that anchor people are reporters."
People
"Do I think I was put here on earth to be a journalist and to seek truth? No, I don't."
Truth
"Whatever you may think of Mrs. Clinton as a character, I think she believes quite strongly in public service."
Character
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