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"Have a sense of humor about life - you will need it. And be courteous."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
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Personal Development
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"George W. had a plan. He arranged to join the Air National Guard in Texas, which meant he would not be sent to Vietnam."
Military service
"Whatever you may think of Mrs. Clinton as a character, I think she believes quite strongly in public service."
Character
"I have gone through a period of seeking to understand what or how strong or what are the connections I have to God."
God
"Do we elect a man because of what he stands for, because of where he stands on the issues, because how he makes the nation feel?"
Man
"A couple of weeks is a long time in American politics."
Politics
"Don't be confused that my interest in religion, faith, and spirituality is driven by any sense of faith or spirituality of my own."
Faith
"Every candidate goes into every debate hoping that they can own a particular moment."
Debate
"Do I think I was put here on earth to be a journalist and to seek truth? No, I don't."
Truth
"Some people continue to pretend that anchor people are reporters."
People
"I think I am very mainstream - I'm committed to good works in my life."
Life
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