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Ogden Nash

"The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk."

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"The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk."

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Akiroq Brost

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

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"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."

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"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."

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Akiroq Brost

"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."

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Akiroq Brost

"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."

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Akiroq Brost

"Zombies are far better than religious people, because they do not discriminate in killing."

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Akiroq Brost

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

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Akiroq Brost

"Some people make spectacles of themselves with a couple of glasses."

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Akiroq Brost

"I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep."

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Akiroq Brost

"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."

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Ogden Nash
"Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying then without money?"
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"Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else."
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"Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?"
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"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up."
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"People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it."
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Ogden Nash
"Too clever is dumb."
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Ogden Nash
"Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker."
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"Women would rather be right than reasonable."
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Ogden Nash
"One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence."
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Ogden Nash
"I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance."
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