"The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk."

Humor, End

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"The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."

Sarah Dessen, American Author

Humor, Knowledge, Curiosity, Learning

"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Life, Regret

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

Abraham Lincoln, American Politician

Humor, Coffee, Tea, President

"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

Humor, Man, Sense, Will

"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."

Samuel Butler, British Poet

Humor, Adultery, Christ, Cruelty, Divorce

"England has forty-two religions and only two sauces."

Voltaire, French Writer

Humor, Religion, Diversity, Culture

"God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh."

Voltaire, French Writer

Humor, God, Comedy, Fear, Laughter

"And then Mum spoons the coffee a little as if she's having fantasies of flinging it in Britt-Marie's face. But in a controlled way."

Fredrik Backman, Swedish Author

Humor, Family, Coffee, Emotion

"Stupidity is brief and guileless, while wit equivocates and hides. Wit is a scoundrel, while stupidity is honest and sincere."

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist

Humor, Stupidity, Wit, Honesty, Deception

"I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea."

Fyodor Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist

Humor, Comfort, Tea, Indifference, Life

Explore more quotes by Ogden Nash

"I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons."

News

"One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence."

Man

"The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control."

Happiness

"Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs."

Man

"I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm."

Sex

"Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?"

Society

"I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it."

Consequence

"I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance."

Life

"Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you."

Hurt

"Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive."

Family