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Irony Quotes

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"The police are not here to create disorder, they're here to preserve disorder."
Richard J. Daley
"The police are not here to create disorder, they're here to preserve disorder."
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"In wars, boy, fools kill other fools for foolish causes."
Robert Jordan
"In wars, boy, fools kill other fools for foolish causes."
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"The policeman isn't there to create disorder; the policeman is there to preserve disorder."
Richard J. Daley
"The policeman isn't there to create disorder; the policeman is there to preserve disorder."
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"And pictures of perfection, as you know, make me sick and wicked."
Jane Austen
"And pictures of perfection, as you know, make me sick and wicked."
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"Miss Bingley's congratulations to her brother, on his approaching marriage, were all that was affectionate and insincere."
Jane Austen
"Miss Bingley's congratulations to her brother, on his approaching marriage, were all that was affectionate and insincere."
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"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."
Terry Pratchett
"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."
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"A tree fears an axe even though its handle is made from it."
Matshona Dhliwayo
"A tree fears an axe even though its handle is made from it."
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"Starving whilst schooled is like a man's finding out that his wife is on her periods - a few seconds after he took Viagra."
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"Starving whilst schooled is like a man's finding out that his wife is on her periods - a few seconds after he took Viagra."
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"The boring thing with 'No sex before marriage' is that kids will never get to attend their parents' wedding."
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"The boring thing with 'No sex before marriage' is that kids will never get to attend their parents' wedding."
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"Happiness is a big joke, let us laugh at it loud."
Santosh Kalwar
"Happiness is a big joke, let us laugh at it loud."
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"Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat."
Mark Twain
"Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat."
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"The laugh left a bitter taste in our mouths, but we laughed out all the same."
Haruki Murakami
"The laugh left a bitter taste in our mouths, but we laughed out all the same."
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"If there were a master of stupidity in this world, I would really love to listen to his success story."
Toba Beta
"If there were a master of stupidity in this world, I would really love to listen to his success story."
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"I hope you're not proposing to enslave us,' said Twoflower.Marchesa looked genuinely shocked. 'Certainly not! Whatever could have given you that idea? Your lives in Krull will be rich, full and comfortable-''Oh, good,' said Rincewind.'-just not very long."
Terry Pratchett
"I hope you're not proposing to enslave us,' said Twoflower.Marchesa looked genuinely shocked. 'Certainly not! Whatever could have given you that idea? Your lives in Krull will be rich, full and comfortable-''Oh, good,' said Rincewind.'-just not very long."
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"I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things like money, contracts and books are made up of soft paper."
Amit Kalantri
"I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things like money, contracts and books are made up of soft paper."
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"With the persistent loud voice, fool asks us to respect serenity."
Toba Beta
"With the persistent loud voice, fool asks us to respect serenity."
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"Irony, we want our handwriting to look like typed fonts, and our computer fonts to look like handwritten text."
Vikrmn
"Irony, we want our handwriting to look like typed fonts, and our computer fonts to look like handwritten text."
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"One must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing."
Oscar Wilde
"One must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing."
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"A drunken but exceedingly depressed German clown from Munich entertained the public."
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
"A drunken but exceedingly depressed German clown from Munich entertained the public."
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"Alas, Siddhartha, I see you suffering, but you're suffering a pain at which one would like to laugh, at which you'll soon laugh for yourself."
Hermann Hesse
"Alas, Siddhartha, I see you suffering, but you're suffering a pain at which one would like to laugh, at which you'll soon laugh for yourself."
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"Humor: the divine flash that reveals the world in its moral ambiguity and man in his profound incompetence to judge others; humor: the intoxicating relativity of human things; the strange pleasure that conies of the certainty that there is no certainty.But humor, to recall Octavio Paz, is "the great invention of the modern spirit." It has not been with us forever, and it won't be with us forever either.With a heavy heart, I imagine the day when Panurge no longer makes people laugh."
Milan Kundera
"Humor: the divine flash that reveals the world in its moral ambiguity and man in his profound incompetence to judge others; humor: the intoxicating relativity of human things; the strange pleasure that conies of the certainty that there is no certainty.But humor, to recall Octavio Paz, is "the great invention of the modern spirit." It has not been with us forever, and it won't be with us forever either.With a heavy heart, I imagine the day when Panurge no longer makes people laugh."
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"Do you get the irony? Who is now talking about, who ain't serious? Oh, we gonna do that and that and that and that? Yeah, yeah You just wanna trick me one more time."
Deyth Banger
"Do you get the irony? Who is now talking about, who ain't serious? Oh, we gonna do that and that and that and that? Yeah, yeah You just wanna trick me one more time."
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"The funny part of being funny is when you start seeing your fans writing funny words and attributing them to you."
Michael Bassey Johnson
"The funny part of being funny is when you start seeing your fans writing funny words and attributing them to you."
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"Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another."
Ambrose Bierce
"Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another."
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"The most dangerous irony is, people are angry with others because of their own incompetence."
Amit Kalantri
"The most dangerous irony is, people are angry with others because of their own incompetence."
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"Brain research tells us that only twenty percent of human beings have a sense of irony, which means that eighty percent of the world takes everything at face value."
Doug Coupland
"Brain research tells us that only twenty percent of human beings have a sense of irony, which means that eighty percent of the world takes everything at face value."
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"If "Frailty, thy name is woman", Frailty must be a man named as 'woman."
Munia Khan
"If "Frailty, thy name is woman", Frailty must be a man named as 'woman."
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"I always listen to you. Except when I don't."
Maggie Stiefvater
"I always listen to you. Except when I don't."
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"That is correct," Zeus said. "The blood of Olympus was spilled. She is fully conscious.""Oh, come on!" Percy complained. "I get a little nosebleed and I wake up the entire earth? That's not fair!"
Rick Riordan
"That is correct," Zeus said. "The blood of Olympus was spilled. She is fully conscious.""Oh, come on!" Percy complained. "I get a little nosebleed and I wake up the entire earth? That's not fair!"
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"I'm sucking on a cancer stick trying to think of something inspiring to say to help someone have a better life. That's "Irony"."
Stanley Victor Paskavich
"I'm sucking on a cancer stick trying to think of something inspiring to say to help someone have a better life. That's "Irony"."
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"And what's the irony?...In the end... we call the enemy friends... the fake people again friends... should I continue here with the words?"
Deyth Banger
"And what's the irony?...In the end... we call the enemy friends... the fake people again friends... should I continue here with the words?"
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"If you see this guy drowning, do not stop him, it might be Peter trying to walk on water reaching Christ."
Alin Sav
"If you see this guy drowning, do not stop him, it might be Peter trying to walk on water reaching Christ."
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"I asked this heroic pet lover how it felt to have died for a schnauzer named Teddy. Salvador Biagiani was philosophical. He said it sure beat dying for absolutely nothing in the Viet Nam War."
Kurt Vonnegut
"I asked this heroic pet lover how it felt to have died for a schnauzer named Teddy. Salvador Biagiani was philosophical. He said it sure beat dying for absolutely nothing in the Viet Nam War."
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"Sometimes life has a cruel sense of humor, giving you the thing you always wanted at the worst time possible."
Lisa Kleypas
"Sometimes life has a cruel sense of humor, giving you the thing you always wanted at the worst time possible."
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"I have forgotten all about my school days. I have a vague impression that they were detestable."
Oscar Wilde
"I have forgotten all about my school days. I have a vague impression that they were detestable."
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"Irony: When those who call others a 'threat to Christianity' reject the crucial tenets of their own faith themselves."
Christina Engela
"Irony: When those who call others a 'threat to Christianity' reject the crucial tenets of their own faith themselves."
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"The happiness of the superficial: when a man who has lost his donkey finds it again."
Idries Shah
"The happiness of the superficial: when a man who has lost his donkey finds it again."
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"Sandar came to stand beside him, frowning down at the crumpled High Lord. "He does not look so mighty lying there," he said wonderingly. "He does not look so much greater than me.""
Robert Jordan
"Sandar came to stand beside him, frowning down at the crumpled High Lord. "He does not look so mighty lying there," he said wonderingly. "He does not look so much greater than me.""
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"Of course boredom may lead you to anything. It is boredom sets one sticking golden pins into people, but all that would not matter. What is bad (this is my comment again) is that I dare say people will be thankful for the gold pins then."
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
"Of course boredom may lead you to anything. It is boredom sets one sticking golden pins into people, but all that would not matter. What is bad (this is my comment again) is that I dare say people will be thankful for the gold pins then."
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"Irony, we want to dance like robots and want robots to dance like us."
Vikrmn
"Irony, we want to dance like robots and want robots to dance like us."
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"What happens if a car comes? We die."
Nicholas Sparks
"What happens if a car comes? We die."
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"If every woman had a direwolf, men would be much sweeter."
George R. R. Martin
"If every woman had a direwolf, men would be much sweeter."
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"What a moron I was to think you were sweet and innocent, when it turns out you were actually college-educated the whole time!"
Margaret Atwood
"What a moron I was to think you were sweet and innocent, when it turns out you were actually college-educated the whole time!"
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"I have a business appointment that I am anxious... to miss."
Oscar Wilde
"I have a business appointment that I am anxious... to miss."
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"She says what holds their marriage together is that she feels too damn sorry for him to ask for a divorce."
Dean Koontz
"She says what holds their marriage together is that she feels too damn sorry for him to ask for a divorce."
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"A traitor may betray himself and do good he does not intend."
J. R. R. Tolkien
"A traitor may betray himself and do good he does not intend."
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"In our native terms, the ironic style is often compounded with the sardonic and the hard-boiled; even the effortlessly superior. But irony originates in the glance and the shrug of the loser, the outsider, the despised minority. It is a nuance that comes most effortlessly to the oppressed."
Christopher Hitchens
"In our native terms, the ironic style is often compounded with the sardonic and the hard-boiled; even the effortlessly superior. But irony originates in the glance and the shrug of the loser, the outsider, the despised minority. It is a nuance that comes most effortlessly to the oppressed."
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"We would be cowards if we had courage enough."
Thomas Fuller
"We would be cowards if we had courage enough."
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