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"(When told that he is a drunk) My dear, you are ugly; but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
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"The price of greatness is responsibility."
Responsibility
"Really I feel less keen about the Army every day. I think the Church would suit me better."
Identity
"It is more agreeable to have the power to give than to receive."
Love
"In war as in life, it is often necessary when some cherished scheme has failed, to take up the best alternative open, and if so, it is folly not to work for it with all your might."
Leadership
"Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential."
Motivational
"I always avoid prophesying beforehand, because it is a much better policy to prophesy after the event has already taken place."
Wisdom
"If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law."
Wisdom
"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it."
Leadership
"Meeting Franklin Roosevelt was like opening your first bottle of champagne; knowing him was like drinking it."
Friendship
"No crime is so great as daring to excel."
Integrity
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