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Karl Kraus

"I had a terrible vision: I saw an encyclopedia walk up to a polymath and open him up."

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"I had a terrible vision: I saw an encyclopedia walk up to a polymath and open him up."

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"Sometimes absurd logic can be amusing and heart-touching."

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"Alimony: the cash surrender value of a husband."

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"Beware of giggle grins, they are highly contagious."

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"When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan.""

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"God alert!" Blackjack yelled. "It's the wine dude!Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!"

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"Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple."

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"Monkeys who very sensibly refrain from speech, lest they should be set to earn their livings."

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Assegid Habtewold

"Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled."

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"This was beyond a joke. This had moved beyond foolishness, slipped over the line into genuine 24 karat Jesus-Christ-I-fucked-up-bigtime territory."

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Assegid Habtewold

"Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper."

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Karl Kraus
"Experiences are savings which a miser puts aside. Wisdom is an inheritance which a wastrel cannot exhaust."

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Karl Kraus
"Psychoanalysis is that mental illness for which it regards itself as therapy."

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Karl Kraus
"To me all men are equal: there are jackasses everywhere, and I have the same contempt for them all."

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"Virginity is the ideal of those who want to deflower."

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Karl Kraus
"Culture is the tacit agreement to let the means of subsistence disappear behind the purpose of existence. Civilization is the subordination of the latter to the former."

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Karl Kraus
"Democracy means the opportunity to be everyone's slave."

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"A fine world in which man reproaches woman with fulfilling his heart's desire!"

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Karl Kraus
"Journalists write because they have nothing to say, and have something to say because they write."

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Karl Kraus
"Education is what most receive, many pass on, and few possess."

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Karl Kraus
"Education is a crutch with which the foolish attack the wise to prove that they are not idiots."

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