top of page
.png){kind=small}
Quotes by Comedian
"The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."
59
"He sort of gets comic moments. Not a lot of directors do."
59
"It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money."
59
"I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games."
59
"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late."
59
"It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
59
"My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81."
59
"The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more."
59
"Creativity is the answer. I always prefer the creative solution to an expensive solution."
59
"You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up."
59
"When you consider what Tony Blair was saying about liberty, human rights and that sort of thing, it would be terribly revolutionary to sell the speeches he and Jack Straw made in 1994."
59
"Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you."
59
"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."
59
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
59
"Upstate New York in the middle of October. You can't get more beautiful than that."
59
"I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter."
59
"But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get."
Work,
59
"Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders."
59
"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks."
59
"I've done seven shows at the Palladium - long running shows I'm talking about."
59
"The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference."
59
"Frank Sinatra taught me how to do him. It took me seven years to master him. He would tell me, tap your foot, Rich, and don't forget to grasp your sleeve."
59
"You can't reason yourself back into cheerfulness any more than you can reason yourself into an extra six inches in height."
59
"I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?"
59
"It's all about the script. Reality is key to me and less cutesy."
59
bottom of page