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"Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately."
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"If you would have a good wife, marry one who has been a good daughter."

"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."

"I am so glad my wife tolerates me. And we have three wonderful sons."

"So I decided to form a production company with my wife and our partner Diane."

"If a composer has a nice wife and some nice children, how can he let the children starve on his dissonances?"
Explore more quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

"For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors."

"Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door."

"If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck."

"If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'"
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