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"Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately."
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"I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago."
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Personal Development
"If you would have a good wife, marry one who has been a good daughter."
Author Name
Personal Development
"He knows little, who will tell his wife all he knows."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Author Name
Personal Development
"In Hawaii, we go to this wonderful place, all families. My wife and I go directly from breakfast to a beach chair where we read all day. My daughter goes from water to pool to running around with friends she meets, some of whom are regulars there."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The only thing I feel passionate about is my wife."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The show can go on without me, and probably will, but I want to come back to act in Chicago. My wife and I just bought a condo downtown, and I want to do theater."
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Personal Development
"I board with a poor Scotchman: his wife can talk scarce any English."
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Personal Development
"A man's best fortune, or his worst, is his wife."
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Personal Development
"My wife says that my tombstone will read, 'Here lies Mr.C, who used to be Mr.B.' So I think that's probably what I'll be remembered for."
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Personal Development
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"I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie."
Daughter
"You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education."
Education
"Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately."
Wife
"I know God is real."
God
"I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods."
Day
"If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck."
Television
"I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument."
Family
"My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family."
Family
"I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points."
People
"You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand."
Goal
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