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Jeff Foxworthy

"Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?"

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"Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?"

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Asa Don Brown

"I didn't know how babies were made until I was pregnant with my fourth child."

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Asa Don Brown

"This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer."

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Asa Don Brown

"We have long passed the Victorian Era when asterisks were followed after a certain interval by a baby."

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Asa Don Brown

"I was walking around with the babies so much that when I got to the Sidney Lumet picture, I would be on set in between takes and I'd be rocking back and forth. Just standing like this rocking back and forth, and Sidney would say, Why are you walking like that in between takes?"

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Asa Don Brown

"And you know, the baby boomers are getting older, and those off the rack clothes are just not fitting right any longer, and so, tailor-made suits are coming back into fashion."

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Asa Don Brown

"Nobody took me too seriously but I was grown up even as a baby."

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Asa Don Brown

"I didn't worry about leaving the fast lane - I was just so consumed with my baby that it seemed like the right thing to do. I never felt like I left New York, though. If you've lived in a place and loved it, you never feel like you left it."

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Asa Don Brown

"I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

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Asa Don Brown

"I talk in that baby talk voice when I'm on TV, it's a put on."

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Asa Don Brown

"My parents had been involved in the labor movement; if we'd grown up in the city, we would have been red-diaper babies."

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Jeff Foxworthy
"For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?"
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Jeff Foxworthy
"Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"I really don't require a whole lot in life."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck."
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