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Jeff Foxworthy

"Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?"

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"Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?"

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Akiroq Brost

"Most of us would do more for our babies than we have ever been willing to do for anyone, even ourselves."

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Akiroq Brost

"I don't particularly like babies. I don't mind them for about four minutes. That's my max. After that I can't quite see what everyone's fussing about."

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Akiroq Brost

"I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

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Akiroq Brost

"I feel sure that unborn babies pick their parents."

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Akiroq Brost

"I didn't worry about leaving the fast lane - I was just so consumed with my baby that it seemed like the right thing to do. I never felt like I left New York, though. If you've lived in a place and loved it, you never feel like you left it."

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Akiroq Brost

"I remember li'l ol' Hank Jr. - he was just a baby back in them days, you know - but he used to hang around. His mama would bring him around. He was just a natural."

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Akiroq Brost

"I was a married woman and I had a baby. I would have adored it, but I just couldn't do it because I'm a lady."

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Akiroq Brost

"Well, the first year I lost my voice I didn't mind so much because I was going to have a baby and I was distracted with him anyway, I didn't even think about it that much, well, OK, this is what's happening."

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Akiroq Brost

"We have long passed the Victorian Era when asterisks were followed after a certain interval by a baby."

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Akiroq Brost

"For right now, it really is the end. Hopefully in 10 years we'll all be married and have babies."

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Jeff Foxworthy
"People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school."
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"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it."
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"I really don't require a whole lot in life."
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"I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family."
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Jeff Foxworthy
"My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this."
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