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"The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money."
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Exlpore more Money quotes
"There's a correlation between the number of digits on a man's bank balance, and, the number of things that his woman is willing to forgive him for."
"The Bible does not say money is the root of all evil; it says the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. A poor man who, in his heart, worships the idea of being rich is more vulnerable to its evils than a rich man who has a heart to use it all for the Lord."
"Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money."
"Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated."
"You cannot spend money in luxury without doing good to the poor. Nay, you do more good to them by spending it in luxury, than by giving it; for by spending it in luxury, you make them exert industry, whereas by giving it, you keep them idle."
"Because people have no thoughts to deal in, they deal cards, and try and win one another's money. Idiots!"
"If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them."
"Among other possibilities, money was invented to make it possible for a foolish man to control wise men; a weak man, strong men; a child, old men; an ignorant man, knowledgeable men; and for a dwarf to control giants."
Explore more quotes by Johnny Carson
"I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive."
"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners."
"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."
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