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"My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee."
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"People who lost their mother should be careful about committing crime, because probably no one else is praying to save you."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My mother wanted me to be a concert pianist."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because Sylvia was my mother's name."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A mother is the most important blessing of your life."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I loved my mother, she's a good girl."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequence than to have a really affectionate mother."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Mothers don't want to pinch me or put me in their purse."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My mother couldn't have been happier when I said I was moving to New York."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I remember all too well the premiere of Ecstasy when I watched my bare bottom bounce across the screen and my mother and father sat there in shock."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I punched my mother out once."
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"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."
Children
"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."
Time
"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?"
Chance
"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."
Woman
"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home."
Home
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
Medical
"Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves."
Age
"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight."
Smile
"I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?"
Husband
"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like."
Baseball
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