"My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee."

Mother, Pain

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"My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee."

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"I was encouraged by my mother and, to a lesser extent, by my father."

Carlisle Floyd, American Composer

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"My mother insisted that I have a normal upbringing."

James MacArthur, American Actor

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"Madlen came to sit beside her on the bed. "Lady Queen," she said with her own particular brand of rough gentleness. "It is not the job of the child to protect her mother. It's the mother's job to protect the child. By allowing your mother to protect you, you gave her a gift. Do you understand me?"

Kristin Cashore, American Author

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"She was a genius, my mother."

Sally Kirkland, American Actress

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"I heard stories from my mother's mother who was an American Indian. She was spiritual, although she did not go to church, but she had the hum. She used to tell me stories of the rivers."

Tina Turner, American Musician

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"If I were like your mother, I would be a woman."

Ryan Stiles, American Actor

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"I didn't grow up with my mother, and so losing her for real was like, some sort of latent childhood, some sort of unresolved issue. When she left for real, it was sort of like, I was done."

Billy Corgan, American Musician

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"My mother had lots and lots of children who didn't survive."

Dom DeLuise, American Actor

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"My mother always called me an ugly weed, so I never was aware of anything until I was older. Plain girls should have someone telling them they are beautiful. Sometimes this works miracles."

Hedy Lamarr, Austrian Actress

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"I remember all too well the premiere of Ecstasy when I watched my bare bottom bounce across the screen and my mother and father sat there in shock."

Hedy Lamarr, Austrian Actress

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Explore more quotes by Phyllis Diller

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."

Bed

"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."

Anger

"I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away."

Sex

"Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going."

Home

"Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out."

Kitchen

"I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?"

Husband

"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."

Time

"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like."

Baseball

"A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once."

Mistake

"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."

Christmas