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"So yes, I say things I regret constantly, and I just can't help it."
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"Last I checked, the album was #82 out of the top 200 on the Billboard charts thanks to you all. I pray that keeps moving up and with your help it will."

"Wherever I go for the military, they always call me Lt. Dan. They just can't help it."

"I was sent down to Cuba. Everything had been prepared with the help of Congressman Johnson and his staff."
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"This will help us next year with the World Cup. I can imagine a lot of visitors from abroad will be here and asking what happened between 1933 and 1945. A lot of that will come up. I think this will make an important contribution to those discussions."

"I cannot help it - in spite of myself, infinity torments me."

"There was no last animal I treated. When young farm lads started to help me over the gate into a field or a pigpen, to make sure the old fellow wouldn't fall, I started to consider retiring."
Explore more quotes by Kathy Griffin

"The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends."

"I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style."

"I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard."
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