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"Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison."
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"What men are among the other formations of the earth, artists are among men."
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Personal Development
"Women may fall when there's no strength in men."
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Personal Development
"Men are April when they woo, December when they wed. Maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives."
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Personal Development
"If we are marked to die, we are enough to do our country loss; and if to live, the fewer men, the greater share of honor."
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Personal Development
"There have been many great men that have flattered the people who ne'er loved them."
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Personal Development
"There is nothing wrong with men possessing riches. The wrong comes when riches possess men."
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Personal Development
"Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties."
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Personal Development
"But men are men; the best sometimes forget."
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Personal Development
"Some hypocrites and seeming mortified men, that held down their heads, were like the little images that they place in the very bowing of the vaults of churches, that look as if they held up the church, but are but puppets."
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Personal Development
"All men are somewhat ridiculous and grotesque, just because they are men; and in this respect artists might well be regarded as man multiplied by two. So it is, was, and shall be."
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"Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words "large" or "size" with "rear end." Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me."
Trust
"Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon."
Women
"Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison."
Men
"While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously."
Act
"My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance."
Men
"Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom."
Father
"Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything."
Men
"Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded."
Electricity
"Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive."
Men
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