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"I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points."
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"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."
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Personal Development

"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."
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Personal Development

"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."
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Personal Development

"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."
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Personal Development

"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal."
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Personal Development

"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."
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Personal Development

"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."
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Personal Development

"Some people break promises for the pleasure of breaking them."
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Personal Development

"I do give books as gifts sometimes, when people would rather have one than a new Ferrari."
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Personal Development

"If something in your writing gives support to people in their lives, that's more than just entertainment-which is what we writers all struggle to do, to touch people."
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"I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument."
Family

"If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck."
Home

"I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points."
People

"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it."
Present

"Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip."
People

"I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together."
President

"There's no down time any more."
Time

"Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling."
People

"Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist."
People

"If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck."
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