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Phyllis Diller

"Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going."

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"Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going."

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Asa Don Brown

"There are a number of things wrong with Washington. One of them is that everyone is too far from home."

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Personal Development

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Asa Don Brown

"Home was not a perfect place. But it was the only home they had and they could hope to make it better."

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Personal Development

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Asa Don Brown

"Think you're escaping and run into yourself. Longest way round is the shortest way home."

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Personal Development

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Asa Don Brown

"A house isn't a home without the ineffable contentment of a cat with its tail folded about its feet. A cat gives mystery, charm, suggestion."

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Personal Development

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Asa Don Brown

"My tent doesn't look like much but, as an estate agent might say, "It is air-conditioned and has exceptional location."

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Personal Development

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Asa Don Brown

"Home is where they want you to stay longer."

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Personal Development

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Asa Don Brown

"A house from which nobody ever went away without feeling better in some way. A house in which there was always laughter."

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Personal Development

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Asa Don Brown

"Laura Ingalls Wilder said, "Home is the nicest place there is."

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Personal Development

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Asa Don Brown

"The instruction we find in books is like fire. We fetch it from our neighbours, kindle it at home, communicate it to others, and it becomes the property of all."

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Personal Development

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Asa Don Brown

"She herself had grown up without any one spot of earth being dearer than another: there was no center of earth pieties, of grave endearing traditions, to which her heart could revert and from which it could draw strength for itself and tenderness for others."

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Phyllis Diller
"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."

Thought

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Phyllis Diller
"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."

Time

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Phyllis Diller
"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."

Anger

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Phyllis Diller
"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."

Woman

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Phyllis Diller
"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."

Children

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Phyllis Diller
"You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type."

Blood

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Phyllis Diller
"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them."

Children

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Phyllis Diller
"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."

Growing up

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Phyllis Diller
"It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core."

Beauty

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Phyllis Diller
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"

Medical

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