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"What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country."
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"Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water!"

"Most women's magazines simply try to mold women into bigger and better consumers."

"No compliment can be eloquent, except as an expression of indifference."
Explore more quotes by Bill Maher

"I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder."

"The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'"

"A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out."

"This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich said that for the entire month of June, he will stop blowing hot air."

"The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people. But they won't say it."

"New Rule: America has every right ot bitch about gas prices suddenly shooting up. How could we have known? Oh, wait, there was that teensy, tiny thing about being warned constantly over the last forty years but still creating more urban sprawl, failing to build public transport, buying gas-guzzlers, and voting for oil company shills. So, New Rule: Shut the fuck up about gas prices."
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