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"What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country."
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"Much of the demand for women in combat comes from female officers who are eager for medals and promotions."
"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."
"Genteel women suppose that those things do not really exist about which it is impossible to talk in polite company."
"No man can call himself liberal, or radical, or even a conservative advocate of fair play, if his work depends in any way on the unpaid or underpaid labor of women at home, or in the office."
Explore more quotes by Bill Maher
"But what is it that drives haters crazy with rage? Many times, it's being ignored. To a person with pride, being ignored is often worse than out-and-out hate; it's that much more of an insult, that you're not even worth noticing."
"For months in the fall of 2001, our highways looked like a county fair on wheels. 'Look out, Al-Qaeda---patriot on board!' I once saw a guy with five flags tell a guy with four flags to go back to Afghanistan."
"If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and sheer ignorance as religion is, you'd resign in protest."
"New Rule: The Napa Valley is Disneyland for alcoholics. Be honest, you're not visiting wineries in four days because you're an oenophile, you're doing it because you're a drunk. It's the only place in America where you can pass out in a stranger's house and it's okay, because it's a B&B and you paid for it."
"Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think that they do."
"Women are also property in our bible; adultery is a property crime in the Old Testament, not a sex crime."
"We preach about capitalism and the beauty of unfettered market forces determining price--but not when it comes to gas. When it comes to gas, we need it cheap, and the president had better get it for us, or else, we don't care how."
"If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod."
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