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"What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country."
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"The surest guide to the correctness of the path that women take is joy in the struggle. Revolution is the festival of the oppressed."

"The battle for the individual rights of women is one of long standing and none of us should countenance anything which undermines it."

"Unless we include a job as part of every citizen's right to autonomy and personal fulfillment, women will continue to be vulnerable to someone else's idea of what need is."

"Most women's magazines simply try to mold women into bigger and better consumers."

"A woman, a dog and a walnut tree, the more you beat them, the better they be."

"The most mediocre of males feels himself a demigod as compared with women."
Explore more quotes by Bill Maher

"I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?"

"President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all."

"New Rule: Stop putting psychedelic screensavers on computers. I sit down to check my e-mail, and the next thing I know it's three days later, I'm in the desert, I'm banging on a drum, I'm naked, and somebody's pierced my dick."

"New Rule: If an Evangelical tries to use Halloween to pimp Jesus to kids, they get to egg his house. On Halloween, the president of the American Family Association urged his flock to hand out a Christian-based comic book instead of candy. Excuse me, Halloween isn't a time to push your beliefs. You don't see me handing out pot to kids...Okay, well not the little kids."

"New Rule: Stop asking Miss USA contestants if they believe in evolution. It's not their field. It's like asking Stephen Hawking if he believes in hair scrunchies. Here's what they know about: spray tans, fake boobs and baton twirling. Here's what they don't know about: everything else. If I cared about the uninformed opinions of some ditsy beauty queen, I'd join the Tea Party."

"A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out."

"If I can't suck your milkshake through a straw, it's not a milkshake--it's a glass of ice cream."
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