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"It's all been satirized for your protection."
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"Travellers scowl at us, and countrymen give us scornful names. 'Strider' I am to one fat man who lives within a day's march of foes that would freeze his heart, or lay his little town in ruin, if he were not guarded ceaselessly. Yet we would not have it otherwise. If simple folk are free from care and fear, simple they will be, and we must be secret to keep them so."
"Though he was not as dastardly as Esmé or Count Olaf or the hook-handed man, Jerome was still an ersatz guardian, because a real guardian is supposed to provide a home, with a place to sleep and something to wear, and all Jerome had given them in the end was 'Good luck.' Jerome reached the end of the block and turned left, and the Baudelaires were once again alone in the world."
"Don't ever touch her again, Hayden growled.Kurt looked up, eyes wide. "Are you threatening me- over her? I'm like your brother, Hayden! "Not anymore."
"There are two kinds of people in this world, son. Those who save lives, and those who take lives.""And what of those who protect and defend? Those who save lives by taking lives?""That's like trying to stop a storm by blowing harder. Ridiculous. You can't protect by killing."
"All may not be well but, sometimes, things that seem so uncanny are what shield and protect us from the worst situations in life."
"The arm of God is never too short to save us."
"I'm a bit cynical that it ever will be addressed properly. I think it is healthy to get some sort of copyright protection. But some of it has gone on forever."
"One day Your dog is going to safe your life, that's a fact."
"Because being comfortable meant she might lower her guard, and she could not let that happen."
Explore more quotes by Bill Maher
"Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids."
"The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right."
"We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists."
"I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be on television every minute of every day - you're the president, not a rerun of 'Law & Order'. TV stars are too worried bout being popular and too concerned about being renewed."
"This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution."
"A lot of good has come from drugs. I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out."
"To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that."
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