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Quotes by Comedian
"Some struggle is healthy. If you can embrace it rather than be angry, you can use it as your pilot light."
7
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
7
"I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones."
7
"What I always say is that we're the illegitimate children of Andy Kaufman and Jerry Lewis."
7
"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
7
"I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do."
7
"I feel like a hostage to fortune. Not that I am complaining. I wanted to play the role. But in truth I didn't think the show would be such a success. OK, I thought it would fail. Not because it was bad. I was confident it was good, but plenty of good things just sort of wither on the vine."
7
"I think a lot comes from having the experience of doing stand-up comedy. It allows you to figure out the psychology of an audience; what things are funny and not."
7
"I've always had a sense of humour, and I still do, so I just want to go on performing as long as I can. It's as simple as that."
7
"It would be ridiculous for me to say anything negative regarding blacks having an equal opportunity on TV."
7
"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks."
7
"I've done seven shows at the Palladium - long running shows I'm talking about."
7
"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."
7
"Monty Python crowd; half of them came from Cambridge, and half of them came from Oxford. But, there seems to be this jewel, this sort of two headed tradition of doing comedy, of doing sketches, and that kind of thing."
7
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
7
"I prefer the smaller budget versus the bigger budget because the mentality that goes along with big budget filmmaking doesn't really suit me; the mind-set that money is the answer."
7
"You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough."
7
"Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game."
7
"The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down."
7
"The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so."
7
"Your face makes my soul want to eat chocolate pudding!"
7
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