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"Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'"
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"We both can be the most beautiful and benevolent creatures on the planet, but then there's another side that can be as harsh and as ugly as the darkest thing you could imagine seeing."
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"You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream."
"No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly."
"I think I can be beautiful with all the little stuff done, and I can be ugly. A lot of attractive actresses can't be ugly."
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"I stayed away from mirrors when I was younger and I didn't like having my picture taken. I was tall and had braces and felt ugly."
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Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
"My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home."
"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."
"At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't."
"What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife."
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