"Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes."

People, Eyes

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"Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes."

Exlpore more People quotes

"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

F. Scott Fitzgerald, American Author

People, Man, Respect

"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."

Victor Hugo, French Author

People, Kings

"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

Samuel Johnson, English Author

People, Superiority

"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."

Francois de La Rochefoucauld, French Writer

People, Goodness

"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal."

Jane Austen, British Writer

People, Trouble, Want

"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

People, Nothing

"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."

Francois de La Rochefoucauld, French Writer

People, Faults

"Some people break promises for the pleasure of breaking them."

William Hazlitt, English Critic

People, Pleasure, Promises

"I do give books as gifts sometimes, when people would rather have one than a new Ferrari."

Dean Koontz, American Author

People, Books, Gifts

"If something in your writing gives support to people in their lives, that's more than just entertainment-which is what we writers all struggle to do, to touch people."

Dean Koontz, American Author

People, Entertainment, Struggle, Support

Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg

"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."

Work, Mortality, Pretty

"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!"

Children,

"I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart."

People,

"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle."

Love, Gambling

"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down."

Cause,

"Dogs are forever in the push up postion."

Dogs,

"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."

Life, Women, Sex

"All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me."

Funny, Jokes

"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."

Fun, Machine, Want, Will

"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'"

Friendship, Friend, Want