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Emo Philips

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."

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"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."

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Emo Philips
"I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him."

Gay

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Emo Philips
"Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist."

Missionaries

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Emo Philips
"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."

Work

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Emo Philips
"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."

Love

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Emo Philips
"In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some."

School

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Emo Philips
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"

Father

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Emo Philips
"I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'"

Wife

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Emo Philips
"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."

Men

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Emo Philips
"Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?"

Children

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Emo Philips
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

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Aberjhani

"I think it's fair to say I've always been a boxing fan."

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Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"Sure, there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."

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Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"In boxing, everybody has their favorites."

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Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"The bell that tolls for all in boxing belongs to a cash register."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"Never eat less than four hours before boxing. Then eat only lightly."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"I was painfully initiated into boxing, because the guys I fought were a lot bigger than me."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"As a West Side kid fooling around with boxing gloves, I had been, for some reason of temperament, more interested in dodging a blow than in striking one."

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Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves."

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Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"I've been a boxing fan ever since I was a kid."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Aberjhani

"Well I am grooming him, he has a boxing trainer that knows what he is talking about, and once he has that he is able to put everything together and he listens, and when somebody listens they are able to accomplish anything."

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Personal Development

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