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"I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him."
Gay
"Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist."
Missionaries
"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
Work
"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."
Love
"In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some."
School
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
Father
"I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'"
Wife
"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."
Men
"Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?"
Children
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
First
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"I think it's fair to say I've always been a boxing fan."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Sure, there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
Author Name
Personal Development
"In boxing, everybody has their favorites."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The bell that tolls for all in boxing belongs to a cash register."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Never eat less than four hours before boxing. Then eat only lightly."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was painfully initiated into boxing, because the guys I fought were a lot bigger than me."
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a West Side kid fooling around with boxing gloves, I had been, for some reason of temperament, more interested in dodging a blow than in striking one."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I've been a boxing fan ever since I was a kid."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well I am grooming him, he has a boxing trainer that knows what he is talking about, and once he has that he is able to put everything together and he listens, and when somebody listens they are able to accomplish anything."
Author Name
Personal Development
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