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"I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five."

Steven Wright, American Comedian

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"I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five."

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Explore more quotes by Steven Wright

"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."

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"I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second."

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"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."

"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."

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"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."

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"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."

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