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Steven Wright

"Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country."

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"Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country."

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Amber Hurdle

"I believed in Bobby Kennedy. Campaigning for him was an attempt to give back something to this country that has given me so much."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I opened my own restaurant when I was 17. I went broke, then traveled around the country, learning about different kinds of foods, had three other restaurants that went broke. It didn't all start just a few years ago!"

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I think it is wrong that we went against The U.N. and that we have alienated our allies and invaded a country that hasn't threatened us, that it is a pre-emptive strike."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"This country would be a better place to live in if all the resources we currently put toward criminalizing marijuana were instead spent by law enforcement on protection from real crime, as opposed to victimless crime."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"There was a lot of protest after Bravo, from countries like India, for example. India was the first country which came forward and proposed at the United Nations that all of these nuclear tests should be stopped, that there should be a complete ban on nuclear testing."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"So I went into jazz and performed in jazz clubs all over the country."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"The big companies and their short-term bottom line rule this country."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"The Covenant of the League of Nations had envisaged sponsoring only the protection of certain categories of men: national minorities and populations of territories controlled by other countries."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"Our criteria for deciding what's good and what's bad is very fickle, especially in this country."

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Steven Wright
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

People

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Steven Wright
"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."

Argument

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Steven Wright
"When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction."

Science

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Steven Wright
"If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you."

Failure

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Steven Wright
"It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."

Science

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Steven Wright
"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."

Future

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Steven Wright
"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"

Gender

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Steven Wright
"I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6."

Humor

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Steven Wright
"If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell."

Irony

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Steven Wright
"When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."

Warning

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