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"Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country."
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"What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds."
"I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?"
"The attack and our response show just how vital Arizona's military bases are to the defense of our country. We need to do everything we can to protect them."
"What do I owe to my times, to my country, to my neighbors, to my friends? Such are the questions which a virtuous man ought often to ask himself."
"I was brought up in Scotland and have always been a country person, although the town means a great deal to me, too."
"No one tells every white person in this country how to be. No one tells every Hispanic, or Asian or Jewish person in this country how to be. There is no single definition of whiteness or single definition of blackness."
"When I started I'd fly across the country to do a gig for a hundred bucks."
"You all know the reasons which have impelled me to renounce the throne. But I want you to understand that in making up my mind I did not forget the country or the empire, which, as Prince of Wales and lately as King, I have for twenty-five years tried to serve."
Explore more quotes by Steven Wright
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
"Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'"
"I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot."
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
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