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"I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window."
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"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
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Personal Development
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I hate fishing, and I can't imagine why anyone would want to hike when you can get in the car and drive."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I sing in the car if I'm in LA, because you're like soundproofed."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One morning, about four o'clock, I was driving my car just about as fast as I could. I thought, Why am I out this time of night? I was miserable, and it came to me: I'm falling in love with somebody I have no right to fall in love with."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When I was a kid I got busted for throwing a rock through a car window and egging a house on halloween."
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Personal Development
"I like the guitar better these days. I like the bass, too, but it's hard to fit a bass amp in a small car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I will never have a drink and get behind the wheel of a car. It's not illegal to drink and drive, but there becomes a certain point where it does become a crime."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If you are a writer you locate yourself behind a wall of silence and no matter what you are doing, driving a car or walking or doing housework you can still be writing, because you have that space."
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"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
Now
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."
Purpose
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Car
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
People
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
Car
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
Friendship
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
Power
"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."
Thought
"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."
Future
"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."
Argument
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