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Steven Wright

"Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night."

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"Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night."

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Amber Hurdle

"I hate the crazy, neurotic characters beyond a certain point."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining."

Author Name

Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I would hate to see operations in the Congo held hostage to Sierra Leone but I really think that's the way it's got to be. At one point we've got to decide to get it right and we've got to be professional."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"To be a real philosopher all that is necessary is to hate some one else's type of thinking."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I actually knew I was going to be perfect for Def Leppard, sorry I hate to say that but I knew it."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I hate the irreverent rabble and keep them far from me."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I hate celebrities. I really hate them."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I hate to spread rumours, but what else can one do with them?"

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I hate having to read the manual."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I'd hate this to get out but I really like opera."

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Steven Wright
"I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator."

Buying

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Steven Wright
"When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction."

Science

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Steven Wright
"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"

Gender

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Steven Wright
"When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."

Warning

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Steven Wright
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."

Time

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Steven Wright
"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."

Comedy

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Steven Wright
"It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."

Science

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Steven Wright
"I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add."

Now

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Steven Wright
"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room."

Comedy

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Steven Wright
"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time."

Time

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