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Steven Wright

"Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night."

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"Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night."

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Donna Grant

"If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Sometimes hate is silence, some stuff are made in such way that they are in front of your eyes."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"We can scarcely hate anyone that we know."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"That's why I hate to get started in these jam sessions. I'm always the last one to leave."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"When you hate somebody...you give him chance mastering your heart."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I hate that which we have decided to call realism, even though I have been made one of its high priests."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"The more one loves a mistress, the more one is ready to hate her."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I hate the irreverent rabble and keep them far from me."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I hate champagne more than anything in the world next to Seven-Up."

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Steven Wright
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."

Now

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Steven Wright
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."

Purpose

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Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

Car

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Steven Wright
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

People

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Steven Wright
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."

Car

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Steven Wright
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."

Friendship

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Steven Wright
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."

Power

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Steven Wright
"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."

Thought

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Steven Wright
"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."

Future

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Steven Wright
"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."

Argument

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