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Steven Wright

"If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?"

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"If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?"

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Amber Hurdle

"In the deepest darkness God tenderly grasps my hand and whispers that darkness is nothing more than a place that He is preparing for the arrival of light."

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Amber Hurdle

"Though there are no stars, no light but the souls in love will always shine so bright even in darkness."

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Amber Hurdle

"It is very possible that the majority of a nation can choose darkness! Such fool nations learn the beauty of light through the unbearable and inconceivable pains!"

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Amber Hurdle

"In the beginning..when ray and day hadn't yet come into existence at all, there was a kind of radiance that illuminates universe. That radiance is the light of knowledge and goodness. That radiance will persistently and consistently shines brightly even after all the stars and moons in this vast universe died out."

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Amber Hurdle

"Computer: a million morons working at the speed of light."

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Amber Hurdle

"Our greatest quest in life should be to live in the light!"

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Amber Hurdle

"The light is more powerful than the darkness."

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Amber Hurdle

"The light of fire is a holy flame."

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Amber Hurdle

"When you walk through the darkness, God shall be your light!."

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Amber Hurdle

"Whatever you seek is within you!"

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Steven Wright
"I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast."
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Steven Wright
"I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator."
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Steven Wright
"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it."
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Steven Wright
"When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction."
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Steven Wright
"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"
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Steven Wright
"When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."
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Steven Wright
"I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking," but I don't have that much time."
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Steven Wright
"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
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Steven Wright
"I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends."
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Steven Wright
"It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature."
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