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Steven Wright

"If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?"

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"If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?"

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Akshay Vasu

"The sun is rising with a bright golden glittering glint. Let us wake up to enjoy the joyful battles of light and darkness."

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Personal Development

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Akshay Vasu

"Where there is darkness, let me be the light. Where there is suffering, let me be kind and compassionate."

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Personal Development

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Akshay Vasu

"God himself is referring to Jesus as light, illumination, knowledge, insight, understanding, wisdom."

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Akshay Vasu

"It is at midnight, not midday, that stars shine the brightest."

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Akshay Vasu

"The light shines brighter on our path."

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Akshay Vasu

"Nothing can dim the light which shines from within."

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Akshay Vasu

"Our greatest quest in life should be to live in the light!"

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Akshay Vasu

"The greatest life is the joy of contentment."

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Akshay Vasu

"Come out my friend. Come out from the narrow lanes of darkness into the vivacious light of the day."

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Personal Development

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Akshay Vasu

"If the light we have is continually engulfed by the darkness in a way that makes the darkness even darker, maybe we should think about getting our light from Someone else before it gets a whole lot darker."

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Steven Wright
"I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'"

Birthday

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Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."

Car

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Steven Wright
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."

Friendship

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Steven Wright
"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."

Time

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Steven Wright
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."

Purpose

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Steven Wright
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."

Now

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Steven Wright
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."

Car

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Steven Wright
"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."

Thought

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Steven Wright
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

People

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Steven Wright
"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."

Power

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