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George Carlin

"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"

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"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"

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Amber Hurdle

"One crime has to be concealed by another."

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Amber Hurdle

"Every sin is the result of a collaboration."

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Amber Hurdle

"It is a mistake to confound strangeness with mystery. The most commonplace crime is often the most mysterious because it presents no new or special features from which deductions may be drawn. This murder would have been infinitely more difficult to unravel had the body of the victim been simply found lying in the roadway without any of those outré and sensational accompaniments which have rendered it remarkable. These strange details, far from making the case more difficult, have really had the effect of making it less so."

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Amber Hurdle

"If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone's wallets."

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Amber Hurdle

"I guess having one hundred and four condoms full of heroin in your guts and the thought of a firing squad in your head make will make most things seem insignificant."

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Amber Hurdle

"Organized crime is the dirty side of the sharp dollar."

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Amber Hurdle

"I think seeing some of the past can be helpful, especially if you're into crime solving."

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Amber Hurdle

"I was long brought up to think that it was nothing short of a crime to miss a sale."

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Amber Hurdle

"This was a new buzz, better than anything I'd tried before. For the first time, I could fight back at others. I'd even fight with a parked car! I was totally kyboshed on these drugs, I didn't care how many boys were standing outside the pub, I'd run over and fight the lot of them. Even though I came off second best, in my mind, I still walked away a winner. I showed them I wasn't a little shit-bag that always got battered, not when I had the drugs in me."

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Amber Hurdle

"It is the crime not the scaffold which is the disgrace."

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"I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it."
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"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."
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"Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established."
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"Weather forecast for tonight: dark."
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"Atheism is a non-prophet organization."
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"If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked."
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"Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I've stayed alive."
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"No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to."
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"Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town."
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George Carlin
"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."
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