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"You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic."
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"I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this."
"In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around."
"Johnny Carson started the jokes about me and Marlin in his monologues."
"There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere."
"I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry."
"I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes."
"I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once."
"I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes."
Explore more quotes by Dylan Moran
"I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate."
"One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing."
"You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up."
"The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty."
"I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly and turn up at the same place every day and eat sandwiches in the same canteen, if I can possibly help it, as I don't think I'd be very good at it."
"It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book."
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