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Quotes by Comedian
"An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer."
48
"Sin recognized but that may keep us humble, But oh, it keeps us nasty."
48
"People want other people to know that they share our sensibility even if they're not exactly sure what that sensibility is."
48
"I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well."
48
"I am presently in my thirteenth year of teaching a graduate course at the University of Southern California."
48
"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."
48
"I was a shy little girl, nothing like what I am now."
48
"Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them."
48
"There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto."
48
"We never could have performed live for an hour and a half every week if we were doing drugs."
48
"The reason lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn't there the second time."
48
"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
48
"Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas."
48
"I loved Australia. I was very successful there."
48
"I don't know why my lines that were cut from the film didn't make it onto the DVD. I have offered to go into the editing room with Christopher and work shoulder to shoulder with him to fit all my lines in. I think he thinks I'm kidding. I'm only trying to help."
48
"There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right."
48
"I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you."
48
"I have some shorter stories coming out in other books early next year. I might be pitching a re-vamp of Ghost Rider in the spring. We'll see."
48
"We're more effective than birth control pills."
48
"The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself, but in so doing, he identifies himself with people - that is, people everywhere, not for the purpose of taking them apart, but simply revealing their true nature."
48
"Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name."
48
"I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor."
God,
48
"Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport."
48
"I would return to the Blackadder character if the opportunity came up. I have no qualms about that at all."
48
"My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality."
48
"I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."
48
"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""
48
"It would be ridiculous for me to say anything negative regarding blacks having an equal opportunity on TV."
48
"An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission."
48
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