"Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport."

Mother, Pleasure

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"Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport."

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"A mother is the most important blessing of your life."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

Mother, Blessing, Love

"My mother always called me an ugly weed, so I never was aware of anything until I was older. Plain girls should have someone telling them they are beautiful. Sometimes this works miracles."

Hedy Lamarr, Austrian Actress

Mother, Girls, Miracles, Ugly

"Necessity, the mother of invention."

George Farquhar, Irish Dramatist

Mother, Invention, Necessity

"My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one."

Groucho Marx, American Comedian

Mother, Children

"I find celebrity status difficult to bear when I am in the company of my mother."

Phil Donahue, American Entertainer

Mother, Celebrity, Company

"I told my mother at about the seventh year of therapy that I had been abused sexually by my father, and she hung up the phone on me."

Anne Heche, American Actress

Mother, Father, Therapy

"I started hustling at 12, my mother hustled ahead of me. I was only allowed to because they knew me."

Curtis Jackson, American Musician

Mother,

"A boy is not free to find a partner of his own as long as he must be the partner to his mother."

Frank Pittman, American Psychiatrist

Mother,

"When I was eight years old I went to visit my brother who was working on a movie of the week with my mother and I saw how much fun he was having and I decided I wanted to try it too."

Mackenzie Astin, American Actor

Mother, Brother, Fun, Old

"My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee."

Phyllis Diller, American Comedian

Mother, Pain

Explore more quotes by Henny Youngman

"My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!"

Time

"Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to."

Men

"You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready."

Wit

"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."

Holiday

"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope."

Mother

"I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet."

Time

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Exlpore more Mother quotes

"A mother is the most important blessing of your life."

"My mother always called me an ugly weed, so I never was aware of anything until I was older. Plain girls should have someone telling them they are beautiful. Sometimes this works miracles."

"Necessity, the mother of invention."

"My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one."

"I find celebrity status difficult to bear when I am in the company of my mother."

"I told my mother at about the seventh year of therapy that I had been abused sexually by my father, and she hung up the phone on me."

"I started hustling at 12, my mother hustled ahead of me. I was only allowed to because they knew me."

"A boy is not free to find a partner of his own as long as he must be the partner to his mother."

"When I was eight years old I went to visit my brother who was working on a movie of the week with my mother and I saw how much fun he was having and I decided I wanted to try it too."

"My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee."

Explore more quotes by Henny Youngman

"I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him."

"While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake."

"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."

"My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way."

"My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!"

"Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to."

"You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready."

"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."

"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope."

"I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet."