"Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport."

Mother, Pleasure

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"Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport."

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"People who lost their mother should be careful about committing crime, because probably no one else is praying to save you."

Amit Kalantri, Indian Author

Mother, Loss, Prayer, Crime

"My mother wanted me to be a concert pianist."

Bernie Worrell, American Musician

Mother,

"The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because Sylvia was my mother's name."

Paul Lynde, American Comedian

Mother, Name

"A mother is the most important blessing of your life."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

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"I loved my mother, she's a good girl."

Charles Manson, American Criminal

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"Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequence than to have a really affectionate mother."

W. Somerset Maugham, British Playwright

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"Mothers don't want to pinch me or put me in their purse."

Paul Lynde, American Comedian

Mother, Mothers, Want

"My mother couldn't have been happier when I said I was moving to New York."

Victor Garber, Canadian Actor

Mother,

"I remember all too well the premiere of Ecstasy when I watched my bare bottom bounce across the screen and my mother and father sat there in shock."

Hedy Lamarr, Austrian Actress

Mother, Father, Ecstasy

"I punched my mother out once."

Charles Manson, American Criminal

Mother,

Explore more quotes by Henny Youngman

"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."

Wife

"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope."

Mother

"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."

Home

"My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself."

Time

"That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!"

Time

"I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet."

Time

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Exlpore more Mother quotes

"People who lost their mother should be careful about committing crime, because probably no one else is praying to save you."

"My mother wanted me to be a concert pianist."

"The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because Sylvia was my mother's name."

"A mother is the most important blessing of your life."

"I loved my mother, she's a good girl."

"Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequence than to have a really affectionate mother."

"Mothers don't want to pinch me or put me in their purse."

"My mother couldn't have been happier when I said I was moving to New York."

"I remember all too well the premiere of Ecstasy when I watched my bare bottom bounce across the screen and my mother and father sat there in shock."

"I punched my mother out once."

Explore more quotes by Henny Youngman

"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."

"If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope."

"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."

"Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to."

"Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it."

"Take my wife... Please!"

"My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash."

"My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself."

"That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!"

"I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet."