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"If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?"
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"If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?"
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Personal Development
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"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
Now

"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators."
Power

"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."
Argument

"If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?"
Rest

"Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it."
Press

"Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?"
Washington

"Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen."
Ocean

"When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes.""
Girlfriend

"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."
Time

"I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out."
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