"You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out."

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"You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out."

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Explore more quotes by Ron White

"Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin."

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"The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off."

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"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."

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"I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow."

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"There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong."

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"My goal is just to become a better comedian."

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"I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability."

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"I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling."

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"People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic."

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"But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It's like anything else. It's a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever."

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