"You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out."

First, Jokes, Years

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"You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out."

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"In the first place, Descartes stands for the most explicit and uncompromising dualism between mind and matter."

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"I'm very fast on teaching guys. Like, when I came over here, I only had two rehearsals with the band. I wondered when I first got here... but it sure came up great."

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"The real question was, here we had this information, Bin Laden intends to strike in the United States. We knew they had struck before in 1993 at the World Trade Center in the first bombing of the trade center."

Richard Ben Veniste, American Lawyer

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"My first guitar, a Fender Jazz Master, I traded it in for a Les Paul Deluxe."

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"We did like 12 shows, then we did the entire Ozzfest with the first half completely booked; then we did the second half with a couple days off here and there."

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"It was important to me to find a label that wouldn't back out after a first single. Everyone's so used to hearing me with Hootie, they're going to be skeptical."

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"When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up."

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Explore more quotes by Ron White

"There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years."

Life

"I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling."

Travel

"There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong."

Diet

"Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane."

Death

"People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic."

Work

"The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off."

Thought

"The next time you have a thought... let it go."

Time

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Exlpore more First quotes

"In the first place, Descartes stands for the most explicit and uncompromising dualism between mind and matter."

"The first twenty shows at TV 23 were really a workshop."

"I'm very fast on teaching guys. Like, when I came over here, I only had two rehearsals with the band. I wondered when I first got here... but it sure came up great."

"You have to examine a scene on the page first. Then you get into the basics of acting: Who are you? Who are you talking to? How do you feel about that person?"

"The first thing I learned was the theme from Peter Gunn."

"The real question was, here we had this information, Bin Laden intends to strike in the United States. We knew they had struck before in 1993 at the World Trade Center in the first bombing of the trade center."

"My first guitar, a Fender Jazz Master, I traded it in for a Les Paul Deluxe."

"We did like 12 shows, then we did the entire Ozzfest with the first half completely booked; then we did the second half with a couple days off here and there."

"It was important to me to find a label that wouldn't back out after a first single. Everyone's so used to hearing me with Hootie, they're going to be skeptical."

"When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up."

Explore more quotes by Ron White

"There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years."

"I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability."

"I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow."

"My goal is just to become a better comedian."

"I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling."

"There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong."

"Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane."

"People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic."

"The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off."

"The next time you have a thought... let it go."