"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""

Time, Fight

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"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""

Exlpore more Time quotes

"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once."

Woody Allen, American Director

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"Time, motion and wine cause sleep."

Ovid, Roman Poet

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"I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time."

Marilyn Monroe, American Actress

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"The future is what matters - because one never reaches it, but always stays in the present - like the White Queen who had to run like the wind to remain in the same spot."

Sylvia Plath, American Poet

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"Concepts, like individuals, have their histories and are just as incapable of withstanding the ravages of time as are individuals. But in and through all this they retain a kind of homesickness for the scenes of their childhood."

Soren Kierkegaard, Danish Philosopher

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"Here or henceforward it is all the same to me, I accept Time absolutely."

Walt Whitman, American Poet

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"Time takes it all whether you want it to or not, time takes it all. Time bares it away, and in the end there is only darkness. Sometimes we find others in that darkness, and sometimes we lose them there again."

Stephen King, American Author

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"Time is a created thing. To say, "I don't have time" is like saying "I don't want to."

Lao Tzu, Chinese Philosopher

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"Time rises and rises, and when it reaches the level of your eyes you drown."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

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"There is a time when even justice brings harm."

Sophocles, Greek Poet

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Explore more quotes by Emo Philips

"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."

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"I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy."

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"Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps."

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"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."

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"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."

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"England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'."

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"My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe."

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