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Phyllis Diller

"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."

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"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."

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Donna Grant

"Cullen is up there killing my children. He's killing everyone."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"More than Captain America your kids need Amelia Earhart " more than Ant Man, they need Abraham Lincoln - more than Green Arrow they need Gandhi " more than Iron Man they need Isaac Newton."

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Donna Grant

"There is no overt rivalry among our children."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Children wish fathers looked but with their eyes; fathers that children with their judgment looked; and either may be wrong."

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Donna Grant

"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"It's shameful what's happening in this country in terms of what we deny our children."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I do very well three things: my job, stupidities and children."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"As we read the school reports on our children, we realize a sense of relief that can rise to delight that thank Heaven nobody is reporting in this fashion on us."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"When our Lord says, we must be converted and become as little children, I suppose he means also, that we must be sensible of our weakness, comparatively speaking, as a little child."

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Donna Grant

"I grew up in Queens and New Jersey. I started doing children's theater when I was seven to get out of school because I didn't fit in."

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Phyllis Diller
"You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type."

Blood

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Phyllis Diller
"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."

Children

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Phyllis Diller
"It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core."

Beauty

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Phyllis Diller
"The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you."

Reason

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Phyllis Diller
"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."

Anger

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Phyllis Diller
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."

Bed

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Phyllis Diller
"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."

Time

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Phyllis Diller
"You know you're old if your walker has an airbag."

Old

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Phyllis Diller
"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like."

Baseball

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Phyllis Diller
"I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?"

Husband

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