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Phyllis Diller

"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."

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"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."

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Donna Grant

"Cullen is up there killing my children. He's killing everyone."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"More than Captain America your kids need Amelia Earhart " more than Ant Man, they need Abraham Lincoln - more than Green Arrow they need Gandhi " more than Iron Man they need Isaac Newton."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Children wish fathers looked but with their eyes; fathers that children with their judgment looked; and either may be wrong."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"It's shameful what's happening in this country in terms of what we deny our children."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I do very well three things: my job, stupidities and children."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"As we read the school reports on our children, we realize a sense of relief that can rise to delight that thank Heaven nobody is reporting in this fashion on us."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I grew up in Queens and New Jersey. I started doing children's theater when I was seven to get out of school because I didn't fit in."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible... and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary."

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Donna Grant

"Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children."

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Phyllis Diller
"You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type."

Blood

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Phyllis Diller
"It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core."

Beauty

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Phyllis Diller
"The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you."

Reason

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Phyllis Diller
"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."

Anger

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Phyllis Diller
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."

Bed

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Phyllis Diller
"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."

Time

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Phyllis Diller
"You know you're old if your walker has an airbag."

Old

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Phyllis Diller
"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like."

Baseball

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Phyllis Diller
"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?"

Chance

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Phyllis Diller
"I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing."

Years

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