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Fred Allen

"Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs."

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"Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs."

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Akiroq Brost

"I still held fast to my determination to become a minister; it still seemed to me that that was my duty. I had pledged myself, in my prayers I had given my word to God. How could I therefore break my vow?"

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Akiroq Brost

"God's most lordly gift to man is decency of mind."

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Akiroq Brost

"I gave in, and admitted that God was God."

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Akiroq Brost

"The Seventh Day Adventist Church believes that it was specially chosen by God to prepare the world for the Second Coming of His Son Jesus."

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Akiroq Brost

"At a certain stage in his evolution, man himself had been able to lay hold upon a higher order of things, which raised him above the level of the beasts that perish, and enabled him to see, at least in the distance, the shining towers of the City of God."

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Akiroq Brost

"God, George Bush makes me want to slash my wrists. He's so embarrassing I have to leave the room when he's on the news. What a monkey."

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Akiroq Brost

"When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say."

God,
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Akiroq Brost

"I tried not to make God this big deal in Joan's life. She treats God like a friend: she's nice to him some days, and other days mean, and then cries when she needs help."

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Akiroq Brost

"Feelings are like a color chart that God has given us."

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Akiroq Brost

"Tell me who is able to keep his bed chaste, or which goddess is able to live with one god alone?"

Explore more quotes by Fred Allen

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Fred Allen
"Television is a medium because anything well done is rare."
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Fred Allen
"I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap."
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Fred Allen
"We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion."
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Fred Allen
"Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure."
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Fred Allen
"A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary."
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Fred Allen
"What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement."
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Fred Allen
"The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed."
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Fred Allen
"Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything."
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Fred Allen
"I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back."
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Fred Allen
"I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is."
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