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"There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto."
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"To make dollars from cents you have to have sense."
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Personal Development
"A drunkard would not give money to sober people. He said they would only eat it, and buy clothes and send their children to school with it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The price we have to pay for money is sometimes liberty."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Nothing induces me to read a novel except when I have to make money by writing about it. I detest them."
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Personal Development
"To understand someone, find out how he spends his money."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Egoism and Money [Goddess of wealth; Lakshmi] are very much at odds [have great enmity]. There should be just enough egoism to accomplish one's work. Beyond that, any expanded egoism and money have great enmity. Money (Lakshmi) stays away from it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Money cannot buy you love. But it sure can buy you things that some people will love you for having."
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Personal Development
"When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them."
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Personal Development
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"You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type."
Blood
"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."
Children
"There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto."
Money
"It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core."
Beauty
"The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you."
Reason
"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."
Anger
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."
Bed
"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."
Time
"You know you're old if your walker has an airbag."
Old
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
Medical
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