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Rodney Dangerfield

"I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

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"I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

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Akiroq Brost

"When I was a little kid, I used to really embarrass my parents."

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"I have a great relationship with my parents. I have not been on lithium."

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"If you want to stay young-looking, pick your parents very carefully."

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"I think the deepest problem is between my parents and me. I just don't know if it will ever be the same."

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"My parents were angry, but they were relieved that I was in good condition. They had been afraid the Russians would torture me. They told me not to do it again!"

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Akiroq Brost

"I don't visit my parents often because Delta Airlines won't wait in the yard while I run in."

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Akiroq Brost

"When a child is bruised physically or emotionally, parents often reward him with a treat."

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Akiroq Brost

"My parents were so poor when I was a kid, I never went anywhere. I take our youngsters with us because I don't know anything that teaches them so much."

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Akiroq Brost

"My biggest musical influences are probably my parents."

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Akiroq Brost

"My parents own a restaurant in Albuquerque."

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Rodney Dangerfield
"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."
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"The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest."
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"On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me."
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"I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me."
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"Life is just a bowl of pits."
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"A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."
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Rodney Dangerfield
"I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get."
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