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"An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission."
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"Advertising is the modern substitute for argument; its function is to make the worse appear the better."
"Expensive advertising courts us with hints and images. The ordinary kind merely says, Buy."
"Advertising treats all products with the reverence and the seriousness due to sacraments."
"Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket."
"You have always had individual directors who begin in the advertising or commercial world, but they are probably exceptions rather than the traditional pattern."
"Religious advertising is undergoing a dramatic conversion."
"Nobody's profitable at this moment, because recession is on; advertising dollars are down, and expenses are way up. So that kind of belies the situation that you would expect, because the ratings are way up everywhere."
"The future of advertising is the Internet."
"That's great advertising when you can turn Chicago into a city you'd want to spend more than three hours in."
Explore more quotes by Fred Allen
"Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making."
"We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion."
"A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."
"Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year."
"You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart."
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