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Jay London

"My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality."

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"My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality."

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"My bed isn't made, I'm tired, I haven't slept well for two weeks. I haven't been laid in a month. I don't have a girlfriend. I have a warrant for my arrest."

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"We're getting ready to take over the world. My group of girlfriends - we're renegades."

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"If you don't have a valentine, hang out with your girlfriends, don't go looking for someone. When it's right, they'll come to you."

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"My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings."

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Asa Don Brown

"I think the reason I don't read is because, when I'm reading, I feel like I'm missing out on something else. You know, What are my friends doing? Where's my girlfriend?"

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Asa Don Brown

"Our fans want us to be happy and if that means being married or having a girlfriend, they are okay with that. Of course, in this industry it is a bit harder to have normal relationships, but it is possible."

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Asa Don Brown

"You know when I feel inwardly beautiful? When I am with my girlfriends and we are having a 'goddess circle'."

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Asa Don Brown

"Steadman! Any guy that's got Oprah as a girlfriend, I mean that's a good dude. I want to talk to him."

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"Leaving America is like losing twenty pounds and finding a new girlfriend."

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"I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time."
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"I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out."
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"I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out."
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"At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?"
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"I was born nine months premature."
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"People read me but they don't subscribe."
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"My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese."
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"A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked."
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"I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me."
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Jay London
"My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings."
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