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"My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality."
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"We're getting ready to take over the world. My group of girlfriends - we're renegades."

"It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends."

"Directors are never in short supply of girlfriends."

"Personally, I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband. If she'll fool her husband, I figure she'll fool me."

"My bed isn't made, I'm tired, I haven't slept well for two weeks. I haven't been laid in a month. I don't have a girlfriend. I have a warrant for my arrest."

"You know when I feel inwardly beautiful? When I am with my girlfriends and we are having a 'goddess circle'."

"I couldn't feel good about myself hanging out in Armani clothes when my girlfriend can't even pay her heating bill. I'd feel foul and I'd be embarrassed."

"Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD."

"Steadman! Any guy that's got Oprah as a girlfriend, I mean that's a good dude. I want to talk to him."
Explore more quotes by Jay London

"I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it."

"After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride."

"I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world."

"I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough."
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