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"If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins."
Gold,
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"Praise, like gold and diamonds, owes its value only to its scarcity."
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Personal Development
"Gold like the sun, which melts wax, but hardens clay, expands great souls."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You do not boo an Olympic Gold Medalist. I'm the best in the world. I came here for you. You dont' boo me."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It really means a lot that I won the gold medal - but I woke up the next morning expecting to feel different. I felt the same."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Mystery is a resource, like coal or gold, and its preservation is a fine thing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The alchemists in their search for gold discovered many other things of greater value."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Gold, on the contrary, though of little use compared with air or water, will exchange for a great quantity of other goods."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A man that hoards up riches and enjoys them not, is like an ass that carries gold and eats thistles."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Brass shines as fair to the ignorant as gold to the goldsmiths."
Author Name
Personal Development
"When we were on the road, I found out that my greatest hits album went Gold. They freaked out. Things really came to a head when we started arguing about a Van Halen greatest hits package."
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Personal Development
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"I hate all sidekicks."
Hate
"I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes."
Romantic
"I think I realized it was an art form at the beginning, but it took me a really long time before I was able to view what I was performing myself as an art form."
Art
"I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage."
Being
"I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything."
Fact
"I have some shorter stories coming out in other books early next year. I might be pitching a re-vamp of Ghost Rider in the spring. We'll see."
Books
"Yeah, there were a few years in the early nineties where I really began to hate what was valued as funny and just sort of what was valued in stand-up, period."
Funny
"I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do."
Time
"90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on."
Art
"I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians."
Death
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