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Quotes by Comedian
"It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes."
30
"Look, there is nothing you can say about this show that I don't already know"
30
"But the two of them together, broke my heart. Olympia and Peter, those scenes... When they're kissing in their 20s and then kissing in their 70s, that's what it is. And they had never met five minutes before they shot those scenes."
29
"Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get to work with so many different people who come in to host the show and you get thrown into so many situations and learn how to think on your feet, so filmmaking actually feels slow, in a good way."
29
"The equality that we are all entitled to, as citizens of this democracy, can't be avoided by some religious dogma of a President who's is supposed to believe in the notion of separation of church and state. And he frankly doesn't."
29
"In rare instances you have to give up what you thought was a great scene."
29
"If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it."
29
"I think people really appreciate clever commercials, as do I. I think they're very entertaining. You just have to wade through all the garbage. That's one of the reasons people watch the Super Bowl. A lot of them watch it to see the commercials and not the actual game."
29
"I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator."
29
"Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants."
29
"What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it's so small that I have to search all my pockets to discover I've received a spam text."
29
"If it wasn't for what goes on in the world of politics, we wouldn't really have much of a show."
29
"As you get older, you realize it's work. It's that fine line between love and companionship. But passionate love? I'd love to know how to make that last."
29
"I was the only Christian on the cast, but that was cool because we all respected each others talent and mostly they respected me a lot even though I was the only Christian."
29
"Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge."
29
"We work with every one of them to see if their character wouldn't say a certain thing or if something is worded awkwardly - we work with them to rectify that."
29
"I always thought marketing in general was an interesting kind of thing. I always liked commercials and billboards."
29
"All I remember is the last time I played a videogame, it was Space Invaders."
29
"I was the same kind of father as I was a harpist - I played by ear."
29
"The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win."
29
"There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory."
29
"So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!"
29
"The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'"
29
"Civilization is hideously fragile and there's not much between us and the horrors underneath, just about a coat of varnish."
29
"Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them."
29
"Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does."
29
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