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"People talk to old people like they're children.'Oh you're very old aren't you?' Yeah I'm old. I'm not stupid."
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"Age is always advancing and I'm fairly sure it's up to no good."
"Lines and greyness are nature's way of telling you not to fuck with someone - the equivalent of yellow and black lines on a wasp, or the markings on the back of a black widow spider."
"When you're twenty-one, life is a roadmap. It's only when you get to twenty-five or so that you begin to suspect you've been looking at the map upside down, and not until you're forty are you entirely sure. By the time you're sixty, take it from me, you're fucking lost."
"When you start believing that you are too old to enjoy something, you lose so much joy in your life."
"One of the shocks of a 50th birthday is realizing the fundamental fact that your youth is irrevocably over."
Explore more quotes by Craig Ferguson
"Jimmy put in a word and told them that if I made it, I wouldn't be able to live with myself without paying them back. That I'd sooner die than owe anyone money for helping me. Apparently Jimmy knew more about me at that point than I knew about myself."
"Allowances can always be made for your friends to disagree with you. Disagreement, vehement disagreement, is healthy. Debate is impossible without it. Evil does not question itself, only hope questions itself. Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken. Infallibility is a sin in any man. All laws can be broken and are. Often. Like when a bumblebee flies or an ancient regime is toppled."
"I'm reading a book, because I'm brainy. No, it is a book - if you don't know, it is like a blog except bigger."
"On that same tour we ran into a band at Aylesbury Friars, a biggish venue in Oxfordshire, England. They were a four - piece from Ireland called U2. They seemed like nice fellows and they sounded pretty good, but we didn't keep in touch. They're probably taxi drivers and accountants by now."
"Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape."
"I knew that I had been partially right in the storeroom above the bar on Christmas Day. Whoever I had become had to die."
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