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"Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do."
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"Do whatever you will, but first be such as are able to will."

"That is what we are supposed to do when we are at our best - make it all up - but make it up so truly that later it will happen that way."
Will,

"Most successes are unhappy. That's why they are successes - they have to reassure themselves about themselves by achieving something that the world will notice."

"Whoever battles with monsters had better see that it does not turn him into a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."
Will,

"He is winding the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike."
Explore more quotes by Johnny Carson

"Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill."

"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."
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