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"Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do."
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"Do whatever you will, but first be such as are able to will."
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Personal Development
"Whoever battles with monsters had better see that it does not turn him into a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."
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Personal Development
"He is winding the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike."
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Personal Development
"Those who will bear much, shall have much to bear."
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Personal Development
"I will listen to anyone's convictions, but pray keep your doubts to yourself."
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Personal Development
"The ear disapproves but tolerates certain musical pieces; transfer them into the domain of our nose, and we will be forced to flee."
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Personal Development
"I feel like an outsider, and I always will feel like one. I've always felt that I wasn't a member of any particular group."
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Personal Development
"The best author will be the one who is ashamed to become a writer."
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Personal Development
"We can choose to live under the ruler-ship of God or under the ruler-ship of the devil."
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Personal Development
"Whoever feels predestined to see and not to believe will find all believers too noisy and pushy: he guards against them."
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Personal Development
Explore more quotes by Johnny Carson
"Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do."
Will
"New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved."
Time
"Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill."
Happiness
"For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off."
Death
"I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself."
Food
"Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined."
Success
"Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die."
Men
"If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."
Life
"We're more effective than birth control pills."
Control
"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners."
Eating
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