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Tim Vine

"You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox."

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"You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox."

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"Facts and Facts, very useful once out there and there!"

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"What keeps us from abandoning ourselves entirely to one vice, often, is the fact that we have several."

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"Whoever wishes to keep a secret must hide the fact that he possesses one."

Explore more quotes by Tim Vine

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Tim Vine
"I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."
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Tim Vine
"I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down."
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Tim Vine
"I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy."
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Tim Vine
"With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm nervous about getting that next laugh and I need to hear it. I always want to condense a joke."
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Tim Vine
"You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox."
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Tim Vine
"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'"
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Tim Vine
"Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet."
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Tim Vine
"People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway."
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Tim Vine
"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'""
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Tim Vine
"Black beauty - he's a dark horse."
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